


Between the Sheets

by Psycicmonk



Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 09:07:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19226026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psycicmonk/pseuds/Psycicmonk
Summary: Lighthearted comedy





	Between the Sheets

Between the Sheets 

By Psycicmonk

“Hello and welcome. On tonight’s episode I sit down with a tall glass of something… I have no idea what this is.” Brian Foster sat at the bar set, holding up a glass that held a purple liquid with steam billowing out over the rim forming a thick cloud.  
“My guest is none other than Matthew Mercer… for a second time. We will discuss, well I’m not sure what we are going to talk about, this has been sprung on me at short notice. All that and more tonight, on Between the Sheets.” The image of Brian dissolved to the opening credits and jazzy intro music sparked up.  
“Matt. Thank you for joining me…again.” Brian sat sideways at the bar facing Matthew Mercer, as the image faded back into shot. Between them were two glasses like the one he had held earlier. Matthew lent forward with an odd grin, when he spoke, it was not with his normal voice.  
“No Foster, I am not Mercer. I am Voces Multorum Diablo, but you will address me as ‘my lord’.” Brian chuckled nervously at the words.  
“Um…what?” The Matthew creature sat up on its stool and let out a deep throat-ed laugh. Its eyes flashed with a yellow light of their own, the glasses on the set began to rattle, the lights flickered.  
“Ookaaayy…” Brian turned from his guest, talking to someone off camera. “Did I miss something? Are we doing the Halloween thing early?” Unintelligible voices mumbled off set, followed by Max calling out.  
“Just keep going!”  
“So, M… V…My Lord, what are we drinking today? It looks intriguing.” Brian attempted to regain his composure.  
“It is my own creation, I call it ‘Virgin’.” The being possessing Matt reached for its glass, savoring a long sip. Brian reached for his own, but paused as the rising smoke reached his nostrils.  
“So ‘virgin’ as in non-alcoholic? It has an odd smell, what’s in it?” The Matt-being did not answer, but its grin grew feral and its eyes flared. Brian’s own eyes went wide, and he carefully lowered his glass to the bar. “I…I might try some later.”  
“Well then, ‘My Lord’, How long have you been in…Matt?” Brian wore his most charming smile. The creature controlling Matt's face, made its own smile drop, replacing it with a snarl.  
“The silly boy called to me way back in… I don’t care to record time as you cattle do… back when he first rolled the dice and opened the gates to hell.” The demon seemed bored with the question, then looked at Brian, licking its lips. 

“Umm. Why you have decided to surface now?” Brian, struggling to stay professional, tried not to shy away from creepy Matt.  
“Well Brian, I have fulfilled my end of the bargain. Mercer achieved his goal of becoming the most famous voice actor and dungeon master with glorious hair. Now it’s my turn.” Brian nodded wide-eyed, still believing he was being pranked, but playing along.  
“So, now you plan to claim his soul, or something?” Brian lent forward slightly, nodding as he asked. Possessed Matt laughed with a deep chuckle, once more licking its lips. Brian flinched backwards.  
“Mercer did not bargain with his own soul, no no. He promised me the souls of all those who admire him, want to be him. I will feast well, and I will start with you.” Brian opened his mouth to protest, but the demon reached out, its fingers touching Brian’s sternum.  
There was a bright flash, a puff of lavender colored smoke, and Brian was gone. All that was left was a pair of bedazzled loafers. Max’s shocked voice came from off camera.  
“Hey! He still owes me money!” The Matt demon spun towards Max and hissed.  
“You’re next!” Before Max could jump out of the way, possessed Mercer was on him. It pressed its fingers against his chest, and Max vanished in a cloud of black smoke and a clap of thunder. Dani, sitting at her monitor, leapt to her feet and screamed. The demon turned towards her with a wicked grin.

“What was that?” Marisha Ray held up her hand, silencing Liam and Sam. They were in the makeup room, discussing next years schedule for all work no play. “Dani?”  
Marisha ran out of the room, leaving the two friends exchanging confused looks. Sam put the dwarven forged wall he was fiddling with back in its draw, then followed the artistic director out, with Liam on his heels.  
Running down the hall, Marisha skidded to a halt as soon as she reached the set. She noticed the overturned stools, pair of still smoking shiny shoes, black stain next to a fallen camera tripod, and Dani’s desk on its side.  
“What the? Dani?” The sound of movement came from behind the upturned desk. Dani’s head peeped up over the edge.  
“Marisha?” Dani leapt up and the two briefly embraced. They then started talking at once, neither making sense of the other, until Marisha held up her hand.  
“Recap?” Dani took a deep breath and put on her announcer’s face. Liam and Sam arrived just in time to hear her speak.  
“Previously on between the sheets, Brian Foster was sitting down with Matthew Mercer for another candid interview. Little did he know that Matthew had been possessed by the demon, Voces Multorum. In a surprise turn of events, the demon turned on Brian, zapping his soul. Max stepped up to intervene, but he too was disintegrated.”  
“Oh no! I liked Max.” Liam gasped. Sam shushed him so that Dani could continue.  
“Seeking more souls, the demon turned on Dani. Desperately, the brave production coordinator, turned over her table to put it between herself and the monster that was once Matthew Mercer. Mysteriously, the demon did not press its attack, instead, it hissed and ran down the passage towards the loading bay.”  
The four of them stood stunned, soaking in what had just transpired. Marisha turned back to Dani. The others looked down the passageway.  
“Why didn’t he zap you too?” Dani shrugged in answer. Marisha looked around for clues, and she noticed that Dani’s laptop had fallen with the screen facing outwards. A thought occurred to her.

Voces Multorum Diablo skittered down the hallway, searching for an exit. A male human with a streak of purple through his hair turned the corner in front of it, not fully aware of his surroundings as his nose was pressed into a leather-bound book.  
“Taliesin Jaffe!” Tal stopped and looked up from his tome. He squinted, and then smiled in recognition.  
“Ah, Voces Multorum isn’t it? I haven’t seen you come forth since that cocktail party back in ‘81. Weren’t you in Corey Feldman back then?”  
“Ah yes, that was a great party…wait, don’t try to distract me. I have come for your soul!” The Matt demon reached its hand forward to strike Taliesin in the chest. Nothing happened.  
“You want my what? Oh, soul. I haven’t had one of those for years.” Tal chuckled. He then stepped around the surprised demon and continued down the hall. “You have a good day now.”  
“Um, yes, you too. Oh, and say hi to your mom for me.” Taliesin waved over his shoulder as he walked away.

“Oh hon, just bring them all in.” Laura held open the back door to the studio so that Travis could carry the armload of packages through. He rolled his eyes, but was careful not to damage anything as he squeezed past and put the post on the loading bay floor.  
“I thought we had staff to do this now?” Laura raised her eyebrows at his comment and pointed back out the open door where more critter mail had been piled up. Travis screwed up his face and went to retrieve the last items.  
“Careful with that! Oh look, you ripped the wrapping. I hope you haven’t ruined it.” Travis had torn a small hole in the brown paper covering what looked like a picture frame. He looked over his shoulder at Laura, made his Grogg face, and tore the rest of the paper off the gift. Laura gave him a mock angry glare and stood with her hands on her hips.  
“What? It’s addressed to us. We would’ve opened it soon anyway. Oh, hi Matt.” They both turned as the shell of Matthew Mercer darted into the loading bay.  
The demon laughed as it lunged towards Travis, hand outstretched. Travis reacted instinctively. He darted backwards, swatting at the demon’s hand aside as he jumped.  
“Hey, we talked about this, it’s in the contract. No touching the merchandise.” Laura put a comforting hand on her husband’s arm, concern towards Matts odd behaviour on her face.  
The demon spun towards Laura, approaching with its fingers curled into claws. Travis’s eyebrows shot skyward, his lips pursed, and he stood straight. Protection mode engaged.  
The Matthew demon recoiled at the aggressive behaviour, but then stopped, a calm expression descended upon its features. The voice that came forth was identical to that of Brad Sham, the sports announcer.  
“This just in, the Dallas Cowboys have decided to call it a day. The team has decided to quit altogether, with most of their players being traded to the Dolphins for as little as 15k apiece. The Cowboys will never again take the field.”  
“Nooooooo!” Travis’s hands flew to his face, then he fell to the floor sobbing in the foetal position. The demon chuckled. Laura stepped over her fallen husband. Her eyes flashed with fire, her jaw thrust forward with angered determination.  
“How dare you hurt my Bebe!” Reaching down, she grabbed one of the packages that had a particularly sword like shape. The demon backed up, eyes wide in fear, as the scorned fury approached. Suddenly, it stopped, and once more the demons face went calm, the sound of an official voice over a speaker came forth.  
“Attention shoppers. Today at the Capri Plaza there will be a sale on all roleplaying dice, up to 80% off, for a short time only…” Before the demon had even finished, Laura’s demeanour shifted to excitement.  
“Oh, honey, I have to go. You’ll be fine.” Laura stepped over Travis’s prone form to reach the door. “Don’t forget to pick up Ronin at four.” Her voice floated back as she ran outside. Travis reached up a quivering arm from his curled-up position, his fingers made a feeble fist, thumb raised.  
The demon laughed and reached forward. Something caught its eye near Travis’s body, causing it to recoil with a hiss. A noise behind it made the Mercer monster spin back towards the studio.

“Hey, goldilocks! Come get some sweet souls.” Sam Riegal stood at the end of the hall, rubbing his nipples seductively through his shirt. The Matt demon bared its teeth, then loped forwards to catch its prey.  
“I don’t think you really needed to…” Liam O’Brien waved his hands towards Sam’s chest. Sam looked back at him with a look of injured pride.  
“Just go with it.” Sam stated. He then noticed that possessed Matthew was charging at them with great speed. He screamed, and they bolted into the main studio space.  
Demon Mercer followed, hot on their heels. Sam squealed as clawed fingers brushed the back of his shirt. Liam and Sam split in two directions. It was then that the demon noticed Marisha circle behind it.  
Its eyes narrowed and it hissed as it turned to face the wife of the man it was possessing. Other figures moved, completing a circle around it. Matt demon cackled. It wouldn’t have to chase down its prey after all.  
“Now!” Marisha yelled. Following her own cue, she lifted up the Deven Rue original of the Tal’dorei map she was holding. Mercer demon hissed, covered its eyes, and turned away. It spun to face Dani, she held up her phone, the enlarged image of one of Aresqueef’s gif’s, the pyramid, caused it to turn away again.  
“Why?” The demon was facing Taliesin, who was holding a colored print of Mollymauk. Tal grinned and gave a little shrug.  
“Sorry, Marisha wants her husband back.” Matt demon tried for the only gap, but Sam filled it, brandishing a Mercer Pillow. The demon held out one hand to block the image, but straightened, speaking in a familiar voice.  
“Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of critical role, where a bunch of us nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play dungeons and dragons. Before we hop into tonight’s episode, we have some quick announcements to get through, so bear with us. First and foremost, we have our fantastic friends, and long-time sponsors, D and D beyond. Sam?”  
Sam’s eyes flew wide, and he dropped the pillow. Out of nowhere, a piece of paper appeared in his hands.  
“D and D beyond, everybody, if it’s one thing you know about them, they’ve always got your back. For example, if I just walk forward towards this soul eating demon…” Out of nowhere, Liam crash tackled Sam to the ground before he could take one more step. “But, but, the bit!”  
Demon Mercer advanced on the two prone men with a cackle. Its arms reaching forward. Fingers clawed.  
“Oh no you don’t!” Marisha blocked its path, repelling it with the artwork in her hands. “Give me back my husband you fiend!”  
Taliesin, Dani, and Marisha worked together, eventually forcing the demon to back into Brian’s cage. Liam recovered in time to dash forward and throw the bolt, narrowly darting back as one of the demon’s hands lashed out through the bars. Together they started piling up critter art around the cage.  
“Oh, Liam, don’t you look glorious.” Sean Gilmores voice came from the cage. “Why don’t you just take those silly pictures away, and open the door.” This time it was Sam who stepped in to restrain Liam.  
“His voice, it’s just too powerful. We need help.” No sooner had Marisha finished the sentence, when a column of pure white light filled the room, blinding everyone. The light faded, and a figure appeared where it had been.  
“Ok, ok, ok. I came as soon as I heard your call.” Ashley Johnson stepped out of the light. “What’s going on?” Everyone blinked, stunned.  
“It’s Matt. Some sort of demon has taken over his body, it’s trying to take everyone’s soul.” Marisha told her once the shock of Ashley’s arrival had worn off.  
“I thought that might happen soon.” Ashley said, nodding to herself and looking around the room. “Hey, wait, where’s Max?” Marisha reached out to console Ashley.  
“It zapped him. And Ashley, I’m so sorry. It got Brian too.” Ashley blinked at Marisha a few times.  
“Ohhh. Brian. Yes, well, I had better make a call then.” She whipped out her phone and began dialling.  
“His mom?” Marisha asked.  
“Hmm?” Ashley shook her head, then spoke into the phone as someone on the other end picked up.  
“Clones R us? Yes, this is Ashley Johnson. Yes, I would like to order another Brian please. Yes, yes, I know, its’s only been a few weeks, the model does tend to be a bit accident prone. No, no, standard model is fine. No wait, on second thought, I will go one size bigger if I can please. Same height is fine though. Oh yes? What are the options?”  
Ashley covered the mouthpiece and turned to Marisha. “What do you think, Liquorice all-sorts, or fresh pine?” Marisha shook her head, confused. “The scent, I can pick one of those at no extra cost.”  
“Ah, fresh pine I guess.” Marisha turned to the others as she answered. They all nodded in agreement. Ashley smiled and turned her attention back to the phone.  
“Fresh pine thanks. Oh really, free shipping for return customers? Thank you very much. Yes, that’s fine, charge it to my account. Thankyou, byeee.” Ashley put her phone away and walked closer to the cage. The voice of Brendan Gall, executive producer of Blindspot came out at her.  
“Ashley, we need you on set right away!” Ashley stiffened, raised her hand, and a nimbus of white light sprang forth in the shape of a shield from her palm. The demon’s words cracked, and it fell silent.  
“Hmmm. This thing is pretty strong. I think I need to blast it to dust.” Ashley raised her hands together. Marisha ran forward and grabbed her arm.  
“What about Matt?” Ashley turned to her and shook her head sadly. “Surely there must be some way to banish it without harming him?” Ashley rubbed her chin in thought for a second.  
“Well, we could try one thing. We could try to make the host so repulsive, that it wants to leave on its own.” The friends looked at each other in turn, wondering how they could achieve such a thing.  
“It’s impossible, Matt’s just too damn gorgeous.” Liam shook his head.  
“There is a way.” Taliesin spoke up, glancing towards the shelves on the nearby Talks Machina set. They all followed his gaze and gasped.  
“No, not that, it’s too dangerous.” Sam exclaimed.  
“We must, it’s the only way.” Taliesin replied, taking a step towards the shelf. The one that held the jar of Wheaton.  
“Carefully.” Liam gripped Taliesin’s arm. Tal nodded, found the thick rubber gloves set aside the shelves for the purpose of moving the jar containing every dice Will Wheaton had ever touched, so they could dust from time to time.  
Donning the protective garb, Taliesin grabbed the jar in both hands. He moved as if it would explode at any moment.  
“Even that may not be enough.” Ashley forewarned. Liam looked over at Sam. His friend was smiling and holding an old memento from the first campaign. Liam leapt over to him, grabbed the tankard from his hand and rushed over to Taliesin. A sloshing sound accompanied Sam’s protests.  
“Here, mix them in with whatever the fuck is in this.” Liam opened the lid of the tankard. Everyone recoiled at the smell that wafted out. Carefully and slowly, Taliesin upended the jar so that the cursed dice tumbled into the poisonous soup.  
As one, they advanced on the cage containing the demon. Its head was bent so that its eyes were in shadow. A low growl escaped its chest. Suddenly, a sweet sound burst out.  
“Krrrit, twitt. Don’t send Kirri away.” Everyone stopped. They all began to ooh and ahh. A large figure burst through them from behind. Travis grabbed the tankard out of Liam’s hand, flung open the cage door, and threw the dice and liquid straight into the Matt demon’s face.  
“I never liked that bird!” The slime was so thick, that most of the dice stuck to Mercer demon’s skin. It looked as if its face was melting, as the goop slowly slid downwards.  
“You will rue this day! Cough* cough*. Your little show will be ruined.” The demon tried to laugh, but some of the slime slipped into its mouth, and it began to gag. Matthew’s figure crumpled to hands and knees, a black and grey miasma floated around him.  
The shadowy form of the demon left Matthew’s body, and lunged towards Travis. Ashley stepped forward, hands out. The light sprang forth, pushing the shadow away. Without a host to inhabit, Voces Multorum Diablo was sent back to hell with a final scream.  
Pushing past everyone else, Marisha ran into the cage to squat down next to Matthew. She would have hugged him, but he was still covered in Wheaton dice and goo. She did have standards. “Are you ok?  
“It’s gone. It’s finally gone. All the voices too. I am just me again.” Matthew smiled up at his friends. A worried expression crossed Liam’s face.  
“Hey Matt, good to see you again. Um, by the way, can you still do accents?” Matt sat up, brushing some of the muck from his face.  
“Sure. I’ll do my Scotsman. Och aye Jimmy. See, I’m fine.” The team looked at one another, eyes wide.  
“Thursday is coming up soon.” Sam whispered to Liam. They all looked towards Marisha. She did not take her eyes off Matt as she spoke.  
“Hey, Taliesin, do you know how to summon demons?


End file.
